Tragedy
by Tripster05
Summary: Before this moment, I had seen this happen to others, never really thinking it would happen to me. I didn’t believe it at first. I thought maybe that moron seventh year Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy was playing a trick because that letter dropped down in fron


It's strange what you can remember after tragedy.

I can remember what everyone was wearing, what they said two minutes before. I can remember how their faces looked as though they weren't really sure what to say. I can remember the smell of the Great Hall and of Sirius Black or James Potter's cologne a few seats down from me. I can remember what I was thinking the moment that the war affected my life completely and changed me forever.

I was fifteen, almost sixteen. It was right before I was supposed to go home for Christmas holidays. Before this moment, I had seen this happen to others, never really thinking it would happen to me. I didn't believe it at first. I thought maybe that moron seventh year Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy was playing a trick because that letter dropped down in front of me that morning, I looked up and his smile was the first thing I saw. I looked to his left and it was Severus' on looking eyes. Just looking.

I slowly opened the envelope that I was still unsure of. I pulled the letter out and Alice put her hand on my shoulder.

"Lily," she whispered in my ear. "Don't do this here." Her eyes begged me. She placed her hand on my shoulder.

_Dear Ms. Lily Evans,_

_We regret to inform you that your mother was killed this morning about eleven minutes ago. Your father has been critically injured and is in St Mungo's. Your sister was NOT present at this time and has been informed as well. This was a result of a Death Eater attack and an Auror will be contacting you for some questions of a letter left addressed to you._

_We are sorry for your loss._

_Sincerely,_

_The Ministry_

I looked up directly into Lucius' eyes again. His eyes were taunting, horrific. I looked at Severus and his eyes told me everything…this was real. This really did just happen. What?! I couldn't breathe it was as if someone sucked all of the air in my lungs right out of me and was holding it hostage.

"Lily." Alice's voice was soft and faint. I couldn't tell if it was really her or if I was imagining it.

"Lily." Someone was pulling me up from my seat and the letter was slipping from my grasp.

"Please!" I screamed. "That's my letter! Don't let it fall!" I turned around and Siruis Black was holding me up. I looked into his deep blue, oceanic eyes. "Sirius?" I looked behind him to find James Potter's sympathetic gaze holding mine. "James? What do I do now?"

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black will help you to my office. I wish to speak with you if you'd allow it?" Of course I wanted to speak to Professor Dumbledore. I wanted to go to my father and……my mothers' dead body.

I don't really remember the walk up to Dumbledore's office. Or crying at all. Or saying anything really. I don't remember how I got to my fathers' bedside and waited patiently with my hateful sister. But I do remember that Sirius asked if I wanted he and James to stay, if I wanted Alice or Marlene or both, if I wanted anything to eat. _Lily, it'll get better_ I heard over and over sitting there with Petunia and her insolant husband, alone. I remember thinking I wish I had James and Sirius with me…I needed a good laugh.

A Healer would come in every so often to check up on him. I never once asked about her, my mother. I was afraid. Afraid of what they would say to me. Afraid Petunia would send her hate even more at me.

I was falling asleep, though I hadn't wanted to, and a man, a large man, with a weird eye came in tailed by a nervous looking black man. The black man was tall and looked like if he wasn't so afraid or nervous or whatever of this other guy he would be able to hold his own pretty damn well. I always thought my mother could hold her own too.

"Lily Evans." The large man with the strange eye had said. I lifted my head.

"Yes?"

"You're going to need to come with me and Kinsley Shacklebolt for the time being." Kingsley was the black man I figured. "We have…" he looked at Petunia and Vernon. "Matters that need attending to. Immeadiately." He started to leave the room. Kingsley put his hand on my shoulder.

"Come on love. Moody's very precise." Kingsley offered me his hand to have help getting up and I greatfully accepted it.

My legs felt heavy as we walked down the hall to a small room off the Healer's station. I sat in the purple chair. This Moody character sat in the brown one, and his counterpart in the green one.

"Lily Evans," the Moody guy said to me again. "My name is Alastor Moody. I'm an Auror."

"Okay. What's this about?" My voice sounded quiet and distant.

Moody sighed and handed me another letter addressed to me. I looked at him. I took the letter. I took a deep breath.

As I unfolded the letter, something fell out. A picture. Of me by the lake at Hogwarts. Remus was next to me and Sirius beside him. James and Peter were talking animatedly with Remus and Sirius and I was looking quite annoyed with the whole ordeal. I remember what was going on that day…it was one of the first days back and we were all doing Transfiguration together because I am completely shit at it. James was showing off.

"Can I keep this." I kept my eyes on the photo.

"Of course, Ms. Evans. Could you tell me who might've taken this photo?" Moody's voice was steady and stern. He was not here to comfort me. He was here for business. I opened the letter. It was written funny, like those ones I would see on Muggle TV stating that they wanted ransom for in trade for the victim. Again I took a deep breath. I felt like I was falling. The feeling you get on an elevator when its on its way down. I began to read.

_Lily Evans:_

_You must do some things for us in order to continue to keep your father alive. Because the next time we meet it may not be so nice. You WILL lose him as well. _

Tears started rolling down my face and I looked up. "Mr. Moody…I really can't do this now."

"You have to Lily. It's our only way of finding anything out." I sniffed and wiped away my tears. How could he think only about his job when my mother was murdered and my father was lying un-wakingly stills in a hospital bed that he may never leave alive.

I began again.

_You have unremarkable strength for a Mudblood, or so I've been told, and I want you to join me. You don't have to say yes now, but do think about it._

_Something else about you has been bothering me. The fact that joining my reign will undoubtedly save your father, I don't think you will. _

_Do realize this will be in your best interest to assist me with your power. If not, well, the consequences of you father and mother with seem like petty things when I am thru with you._

_Someone will be watching you. The same someone who took this picture. Enjoy._

_Voldemort_

I read it once more and looked up at the two Aurors looking at me. "Why would he send this to me? What have I ever done to him? What have my parents ever done to him?" I screamed. I know they didn't really know the answer now, but at the time, all I wanted was answers. My heart was breaking and I couldn't think. Voldemort wanted _me_ and no one knew why.

"Ms. Evans, please understand that we want to know as well," that Shacklebolt fellow said softly. "We don't understand what he's doing either. And tormenting children to join him may only be his beginning to something worse. Moody," He looked Moody dead in the eyes. "She's just a fifteen year old girl. I don't get it."

"Nor do I, Shacklebolt." Moody seemed so calm. I couldn't understand how. My mind was racing as fast as my heart and I was stressed. "We're placing you and your family under protective custody. Someone will be with you at all times. Someone will be with your father at all times. Someone will be with your sister at all times," I snorted at him. Like she'll go along with this. Torture or not. "We will not leaveyou or your family unattended until we find out what he wants with you."

My mother's funeral was two days later. My father couldn't even attend. The Marauders showed up to support me, which I've always thought very kind. Severus didn't come. Alice and Marlene came with their parents to pay their respects. Neighbors. Family. People from her work. People I never even knew. But it was my mother. I looked over at Petunia sobbing into Vernon's clothes and this was the moment. The moment in which I wished I had never received that stupid Hogwarts letter. My mother would still be alive and well enough to attend Petunia's wedding next summer. My mother would be able to attend the wedding I was sure to never have. My mother would be able to kiss my father and dance with him in the living room after we had gone to sleep. My father wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed. Petunia would still love me.

I was thinking about quitting school. Making everything go away just like that. Maybe things would change and be better. I mean, I was only fifteen! What else was I supposed to do?

I stood shaking everyone's hand in the funeral home, watching Petunia and Vernon. I had to leave, so I did. I stepped out of that line and outside. I knew everyone was wondering why, but I swear I would never tell.

There was so much to think about. My mind was racing. I just broke down right there in the rain, right next to that creepy looking shrub that only made me feel worse.

I don't know how long I'd been sitting there, but oddly enough, Sirius Black came outside and found me sitting next to that shrub. I think he came out to smoke or just get air. Sirius never has done well with anyone's tragedy. His or not.

"Lily," I looked up to his voice. "Do you want to go for a walk?" His hand was outstretched towards mine and so I took it.

I looked at him when I stood up. Deep, dark ocean blue met bright emerald green. "Sirius? Where am I supposed to go?" It was true, I had no where. I could go back to my parents, my dad's house, only that Petunia and Vernon would most likely be there. I didn't want to deal with that. I was too young for a flat. There were no options for me, except the one I didn't want. The one that could save my father. To join the Dark Lord.

"Sirius," I was whispering and the rain was coming down hard. I took his hand in mine in fear that he may run away. It was soft, warm, and seemingly innocent. This is how I will always think of Sirius Black. Innocent. It'll matter much more in the future. "He wants me." He looked at me and we stopped walking. I faced him, knowing what his question would be. Knowing I was about to tell him the secret I never wanted anyone to know.

"Who, Lily?" There it was. Something I wasn't sure how to answer. He wouldn't believe me, I was sure of it. He would laugh in my grief stricken face. But I spoke anyway.

"Voldemort." The name could have stopped traffic and Quidditch games and breaths and kisses. My lips tremble now thinking about when I said that awful name. But I wasn't afraid like some. No not at all. That's what he wanted.

"Why would he want you?"

"I don't know, Sirius. But that's why my mum and dad…" I just stopped mid-sentence. I didn't want to say it. "He said he'll do the same to my father if I don't join him. I have to fight this. I have to get my family out of this war. It's my fight, not theirs." I was sobbing again. His right hand was on my back and his left hand was holding my left hand. It was comforting. Someone wanting to comfort me. It didn't make me feel so shitty about Petunia and Vernon.

"Lily, you WILL NOT do it alone." His voice was quiet but scary. I knew I could trust him. I knew in that moment I always would. Sirius Black saved me that day…I only wish I would have saved him sooner than later.


End file.
